If your audience watches your shoulders heave upward as you inhale, you look tight, tense, stiff, and intimidated. You may not be aware that you're doing it, but your audience will be and they will read those signals as "uncomfortable" and soon they, too, will be uncomfortable.
The way you use your face, your hands, and your voice sends signals. What you wear sends signals. So does your general appearance, your grooming. In short, as long as your audience can see you, what they see is as important as what you say.
The combination of the neutral face and a position such as the fig leaf has the audience thinking, "This poor person!" They realize you're not pleased to be there and that you've got problems, and they'll wish they were somewhere else.
In any speaking situation, your job is to help the audience receive the message you want them to get, but it's not as simple as it sounds. It means that they have to perceive you to be comfortable, confident, and in control, whether you're standing behind a lectern, sitting at a conference table, or simply in conversation.
The position a lot of people find least comfortable is standing with their hands at their sides. Interestingly and unfortunately, this is the most comfortable position for the audience to see. It looks natural. It sends the most friendly, open, personable signals, but most of us find the hands naked. We don't like to be naked, so we hide the hands. By giving in to this impulse, we wind up in an awkward-looking position. Most men go right for the fig leaf. Most women fold their arms in front of them. Of course, some thrust their hands in their pockets and others hide their hands behind their backs.
None of these stances look comfortable or inviting to an audience. Worse still, these positions are gesture inhibitors, meaning we're unable to "hug" an audience or "shake hands" via the gesture. Each of the "no-no" positions sends signals that usually will be interpreted by an audience as signs of stiffness or insecurity. Yet, time after time, people automatically assume one of these hand-hiding positions.
There are many examples of this. Look at photographs of award ceremonies, company meetings, and social functions. Nearly everyone will be in the fig-leaf or arms-folded position. Look at a newspaper picture of the president, governor, or mayor signing a bill or holding a press conference. All the aides and participants will be in an uncomfortable-looking position in the background.
What you can learn is how to send the signals that show your audience you're comfortable, in control, and self-confident.
Just remember, you are in control!
Aaron Turnbull
Manager / Co-Founder
Success Through Failure - Sales Training
